My Worst Reading Pet Peeves pt 2

HelloOoOo everybody!

Last month I talked about some micro tropes I really hate when I'm reading. You guys asked for more and I'm here to deliver. I am listing five more niche tropes and storytelling devices that I really hate when I'm going through my TBR.

Friendly reminder that these are my personal opinions and I reserve the right to change my mind. Also, a friendly reminder that nothing on this list is technically a mistake. Actually, I take that back. The last point on this list is literally a publishing mistake. But other than that, these are just opinions. If you want to write this shit, knock yourself out. I just won't read it.

This video is sponsored by Skillshare. As always, all opinions are my own.

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Number 1: The Adult Characters Are Still Besties With Their High School Clique

Whenever I talk about books that take place in small towns or hometowns or involve high school reunions, someone inevitably gets really offended in the comments. I'm sure this video will be no different. I think it's fine if you still know people you went to high school with. I think it's great if you're still friendly with people you went to high school with.

But if your high school clique is still going strong and you're a full-grown adult, I've got bad news for you. You peaked in high school and everyone around you knows it except for you. We know you get drunk together and reminisce over your glory days. We know you still brag about your high school football career. We know you whip out that prom queen tiara with every bottle of rosé.

How is this relevant to novels, you ask? Well, a lot of writers like to write about a friend group that's been thick as thieves since you guessed it…high school. But now they're in their 30s, and I'm not buying that they’re main character material. It's one thing to have one or two lifelong friends, but an entire clique? The whole popular squad stuck together? That sounds a hell of a lot like Arrested Development.

Aging means evolving and growing, which means sometimes you and your friends don't have anything in common anymore. And that's okay. But you're telling me these five to 10 friends didn't evolve at all in the span of a decade?

When writers craft this type of friendship circle, I know what they're going for. They're going for: “Wow, Isn't it great how loyal they are?” But I just see a group of adults who are mentally stuck in sophomore year. It's not wholesome, it's embarrassing. And I'm sure they're all a member of the same MLM. You can get offended in the comments, but it doesn't change the fact that I really don't like this trope.

Number 2: Fantasy Lingo in a Modern Contemporary Novel

“I promise I will walk out that door and trouble you no longer.”

“You are my beloved, my adored, and I want to be with you forevermore.”

“He brandished his strong sword and pounded into her to the hilt.”

Your book is set in Chicago. In the year 2024. No one talks like this. And obviously not all of these examples use actual fantasy words like “dragons” or “wizards.” But it's the way that they're talking. You guys know what I mean.

I get that it's fun to write purple prose and it's exciting to throw in a “twas,” a “shan’t,” or a “shall.” But unless your characters are at a Renaissance fair, it's not realistic. Now, I'm not telling you to write something like “Damn, bitch, that rizz is fire. No cap.” I have no idea if anything I just said made sense. I'm a millennial, okay? I'm old.

My point is, the book is modern. It's contemporary, so the characters should speak appropriately. If you wanna write high-fantasy dialogue, just write a high-fantasy book. But you chose this genre and its setting, so embrace it. Because if I start seeing high fantasy mumbo jumbo in you're coming of age rom-com, I'm laughing at you.

Number 3: She’s a Strong, Independent Woman Because She Punched a Guy in the Nose

I am 100% supportive of violent women both in and out of fiction. It's just this very specific micro cliché that grinds my gears. Some guy says something mean to her, so she punches him in the nose. That's how you know she’s a strong independent woman. In fact, that's the only determiner of a strong, independent woman. And she's probably never going to do something “strong” ever again.

I get that sometimes people deserve to be punched. I just don't see how this cliché became the determiner for fake feminism. Oh, right… That's because these writers don't actually know what a strong woman looks like. I mean, after all, strong male characters kick ass, right? So clearly the female character has to do the same.

This micro trope annoys me not only because it's an overused cliche that I’ve seen at least a hundred times, but because a punch in the nose isn't indicative of strength at all. Even if the person has it coming, plenty of weak ass jerks punch people. It takes a whole lot more to establish strength of integrity and character. Maybe give the character opinions. Have her make some decisions. You know, agency. But if you don't know how to write a woman who can think, I guess punching someone in the nose is the next best option. At least have her kick him in the dick instead.

Number 4: Awful Dirty Talk

I read a lot of romance, which means I read a lot of spice. And it's one thing if the dirty talk doesn't appeal to me. Spice is subjective. I get that. But sometimes the dirty talk is just plain bad and I can't imagine anyone who would enjoy it. Here are a few utterings I've read in different novels that are seared into my brain.

“This is fun!”

Yes. Mid thrust, the man pauses to say this. Read the room, buddy. This isn't a bouncy house or a Chuck E. Cheese.

“You only have to last until you're inside of me.”

Really? That's all? You’re telling me you want him to enter you and then immediately blow his load?

“Aren't you a cock hungry little cunt?”

Sorry. What happened to “Hello?” “How are you?” “My name is…?” I know some people like it aggressive, but can you at least prepare us? This book went from flowers and chivalry to “See you next Tuesday” real fast.

“Just fuck it."

The woman said this... “Just fuck it.” Not even “me”. IT. Fuck it, and nothing else. It's like Nike's pornographic sister. Just do it… Just fuck it. I hope I don't get in legal trouble for that one.

Number 5: Left-Aligned, Double-Spaced Books

I say this for indie writers because traditional publishing houses know better. And certainly, not all indie writers make this mistake. I am an indie author and I would not be caught dead publishing a left-aligned, double-spaced book. But you have no idea how often I receive an indie book with this fucked up format. Tell me you formatted in Word without telling me you formatted in Word.

Writers, have you ever opened a book in your entire life? They’re justified! And not a single double space in sight. This isn't a college essay, okay? Left aligned and double spaced is for ninth-grade papers analyzing the themes of The Catcher in the Rye. Books are justified because they just look better.

“But, Jenna, I don't know formatting rules!”

Just open a book. Any of them. They all do the same thing. I want to be sympathetic, but I can't because it's common sense. And then I remember common sense ain't common, which is why the state of the world is what it is.

So that's all I've got for you today!

A huge thank you to Skillshare for sponsoring today's post. Skillshare is the largest online learning community for creatives with thousands of classes led by industry experts across film, illustration, design, freelancing, and even writing. Skillshare can help you take your career, skills, hobbies, passions, or side hustles to the next level. And they have thousands of classes ranging from beginner level to advanced.

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*This post is sponsored by Skillshare. As always, all opinions are my own.

#tropetalk #CyborgQueen #JennaMoreci

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