HelloOoOo everybody!
It's time for today's topic, and boy, what a topic it is! Valentine's Day was just last month, which means people are either really sad or they totally got laid. In honor of all the baby-making, I'm breaking down my list of the 10 best tropes in erotic fiction. This is the weirdest list I've ever made, and I'm putting it on the Internet because I'm stupid. Now, a lot of people confuse romance and erotica because they often go together. So just to be clear, romance and erotica are not the same thing. Thus, this list will be focused exclusively on sexy time tropes.
Disclaimer number one: if it wasn't clear already, this video is about sexual stuff. If you got virgin ears and you want to keep ‘em that way, get outta here!
Disclaimer number two: while I will be talking about what I believe are the best erotic tropes, I will not be basing these decisions on my personal sexual preferences. You guys don't get to know me like that. I will be speaking about tropes from a personally removed perspective, so don't try to read into any of this shit, ‘cause it ain't gonna work. Ya nasty!
This video is sponsored by Skillshare As always, all opinions are my own.
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Number 1: Satire
My all-time favorite type of erotica by far is satirical erotica. Who doesn't love a dick joke? I know I do! Satirical erotica deserves more props than it gets because it is so damn funny. It's like an antidepressant that also features creative euphemisms for butthole. Nothing puts a pep in your step quite like a “coin purse” or a “dirty cave of secrets.” What kills me is when people think erotic satire is serious and then comment on how dumb it is. That's the point! It's not stupid, you are!
Number 2: Camp
Another great thing about erotica is that it's a genre that doesn't take itself too seriously. We are here to get titillated by titties and tantalized by testes. Because of this, erotica is free to indulge in tropes that are often written off as exaggerated or cheesy. This is not Pride and Prejudice, okay? It's a book about vajoodles. As someone who can be a stickler about books, it's fun to indulge from time to time in stories that are campy. Not every reader wants a philosophical message. Sometimes ya just want a boner...
Number 3: Reverse Harems
You know what's better than one penis? Seven! At the same time! That actually sounds painful, but I digress . . . Let's be real: for a long time, men were celebrated for boning as many women as possible, while women were expected to be chaste lest the church finds out. Fast forward to today, what's one of the biggest trends in erotica? One woman with a bazillion dudes! I'm not one to dude-hop myself, but I support a woman's right to do just that! And I support an author's right to include ten shirtless love interests within the same story. Thanks for leveling the playing field, erotica!
Number 4: Dominatrixes
Is that the plural of dominatrix? Dominatrixes? Dominatri? Cliff suggested “Dommies.” Hear me out: ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM erotica is everywhere! And you know what 99% of these stories have in common? Doms! So when I see an author say, “To hell with you! I'm writing a dominatrix!” I say, “Give this person a medal!” It's nice to see writers do something original amid a sea of authors beating the same dead horse. Why do the dudes always gotta be the ones wielding the whip? Let a lady dish out the spankings! Give the girls a chance!
Number 5: Multi-Genre Erotica
I feel like multi-genre erotica is a gateway for every fangirl and fanboy to indulge in their wildest fantasies. We know you're obsessed with Harry Potter, but be honest: you would’ve liked that series a whole lot better if all the characters were hot, grown-up, and doing one another. Isn't that right? That's what multi-genre erotica brings to the table. Fantasy erotica? It's like Lord of the Rings but with peepees! It basically gives people that fantasy they've been craving, but have been too embarrassed to admit. Meanwhile, erotica writers are out here saying, “Hey man, I know you got a boner for elves. It's okay, I do too! Step into my van.”
Number 6: Throuples
One of the most annoying things about love triangles is that they're unnecessary. If you like ‘em both, do ‘em both–with their consent. Erotica is one of the only genres with enough spunk to feature throuples, and for that, I say, “Good for you! Way to break through societal norms!” I'd rather read about a fictional threesome than one person taking an entire series to decide who to bone.
Number 7: Characters Who Know What a Clitoris Is
It's been a long time coming, but it's finally happened! Erotica writers have discovered the clitoris! Well, some have . . . but it's a start! For a long time, it was pretty much impossible to find any sort of understanding of the female anatomy when it came to sex scenes in fiction. But the tides are turning! People finally put a mirror between their legs and were shocked by their discovery! I don't think this point requires explanation. It's just nice to read a sex scene and not feel the need to throw myself out a window.
Number 8: Body Diversity
People clown on erotica, but it's one of the only genres that I see regularly celebrating different body types and skin tones. Even better, no one is apologizing for their shape! She's a big girl. She's beautiful! She knows it! We know it! Know how we know? ‘Cause she's gettin’ it in! Everyone wants a piece of that booty, and I'm here for it! It’s just refreshing to see such a wide variety of sex appeal, especially when so many other genres keep pumpin’ out the same four-foot-nine waifs and six-foot-nine ‘roid heads. I don't know if you were just trying to write easier access, but she literally comes up to his waist. Kinda gross, just saying.
Number 9: Male Virgins
Every other genre on the planet fetishizes the crap out of female virgins. “The beautiful, doe-eyed virgin meets Slutty McMan Whore.” Don't get me wrong, erotica features this trope all the time, but it also fetishizes the crap out of male virgins. Equality! There are stories about the gorgeous Adonis who's been saving himself for his childhood sweetheart. There's also the naive hunk who “opens himself up” to the tattooed bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Look, if you're gonna diddle yourself to a man-made construct, at least don't discriminate. Virginal men are sexy, too!
Number 10: Unreasonably Gorgeous Human Beings
I'm always telling writers it's fine to write hot people but try to make them realistically hot. However, when it comes to erotica, I can take that advice and shove it up my ass. It's a sexual fantasy! No one wants to read about ugly people smashing their privates together. Unless that's your kink, in which case, whatever. Big, small, short, tall, doesn't matter! These people are gonna look like gods and goddesses, and really, isn't that all we want for our spank banks? I think so!
So that's all I've got for you today!
I’d ask you to leave your picks for your favorite tropes in the comments, but I don’t think I want Google to remember this comment thread. So keep ‘em to yourselves, ya filthy animals!
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